Its 4:21am and all is not well...

For the last few days I have been waking every morning at 4:21am (well, thats what our clock radio in the bedroom says anyway).

I find it very eerie how my body knows to wake at the exact same time (to the minute) every morning?!  That to me in itself is just plain weird.  Your internal body clock never seems to speed up or slow down.  To me thats amazing..

And....just before I wake, I'm in the midst of a very vivid, very violent nightmare.  I've been suffering these nightmares and recurring nightmares for 2 weeks now.  I'm usually stuck somewhere that I can't get out of and I have to physically maim myself to get out.  I feel the pain, I see the blood, I experience the trauma.  Its awful.

My other nightmare is that I am being chased and eventually murdered.  I know it sounds terribly brutal and, to tell you the truth, I don't know where they come from.  I feel the anxiety of being chased, I feel the fatigue and intense fear.  I feel the knife slicing my throat and the warm blood running down my neck or I feel the gun exploding against my head.  I see myself lying there - dead - pale and grey.  Its so shocking and distressing to see my lifeless body there and when the police and coroner arrive I watch them pack up my body in a black body bag, tag me and zip me up.  I try to scream and tell them that I am watching - but I can't scream - I open my mouth and no sound comes out, which is incredibly frustrating and scary.

I've spoken about my epic and vivid dreams before on the Blog and that I usually look forward to my evening adventures but these nightmares are something I obviously don't look forward to.  They do not leave any intense lingering feelings behind (like my other positive dreams do) but it all the images come rushing back to me in those few seconds before you drift off to sleep again.  Those few seconds do not give me enough time to have a chat with myself to say: "Don't go back there" or "Stay Awake Dafty!".

Before I know it, I'm stuck in another nightmare and bam! its 4:21am and I can't get back to sleep...

Bring back the good dreams.  Bring on Brad Pitt and drag car racing.  Bring back movie sets and eating chocolate, floating on giant marshmallows and skipping through daisy-carpeted meadows...

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