Pass the Eggnog, Please

For the next few weeks, I’m going to slip off into the strange and wondrous land of Christmas sweaters, eggnog martinis, the usual sibling rivalry flare-ups, silver bells, marathon Monopoly tournaments, multiple viewings of It’s a Wonderful Life, and honey-glazed hams.

Yes, ham.

That’s because last year at Thanksgiving dinner my father made the quiet announcement that he didn’t really like turkey. Really, Dad? My brother and I exclaimed. Why didn’t you say something, like, 30 years ago? But Dad just shook his graying head in his usual calm and unflustered way and smiled at us. That's my Dad. To know him is to love him. And we love him a lot.

I look forward to blogging again with you in a few weeks. No doubt there will be plenty to talk about. Until then, a very Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas to you and your families!

153. The Wild, Wild West

Today I’m blogging with the very cool guys at Commentarama. We’re talking about cowboys and politics in my adopted state of Arizona and why RINOs like John McCain continue to get elected in the Wild, Wild West. So put on your favorite George Strait CD and a pair of cowboy boots and come join the discussion.

Click here.

152. Honest Leadership = Oxymoron

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words, even a million. Or, if you're Mary Landrieu (D-La), it will cost you 300 million. This is one of those pictures.

As usual, President Obama looks befuddled without his teleprompter, Nancy Pelosi looks pinched and uncomfortable, and Harry Reid may be trying to self-resuscitate, especially after he had to pay off half his Senate colleagues with taxpayer money to move a 2000-page, trillion-dollar Healthcare Bill forward.

Honest leadership? Get real.

By the way, if you haven't seen Saturday Night Live's skit on President Obama's press conference with the Chinese president, you must. One word: Hilarious. If you're President Obama, you know you've hit a new low when SNL begins to mock you. It may also entice you to start watching SNL again. Well, maybe.

For the SNL link, click here.

151. President Obama's Excellent Asian Adventure

Another photo for the White House scrapbook, right next to the one where President Obama pretends to care about the U.S. soldiers at the Osan Air Base in South Korea:

150. The Slow Joe Boat to Arizona

Joe Biden blew into Arizona on Monday with his cosmetically altered bright smile, hairplugs, and spray-on tan to meet and shake hands with gushing Arizona democrats desperate for political royalty.

The purpose?

To raise money for two vulnerable “moderate” Arizona democrats, Harry Mitchell and Ann Kirkpatrick, who voted for the ObamaPelosi Health Care boondoggle Bill and who have now taken refuge in the bowels of the Witness Protection Program. No one has seen or heard from them since the vote. And, frankly, not too many Arizonans are too upset about that. Even most of the people who voted for them.

Standing beside another one of Arizona’s delusional politicians, namely City of Phoenix mayor Phil “Flash” Gordon, Vice-President Biden touted all the benefits of the trillion dollar Stimulus Plan (affectionately renamed the “Rescue Bill”) passed in January. Specifically, he gushed about the 7000 teachers who’ve been allowed to keep their jobs in Arizona’s mostly failing public classrooms, while forgetting to mention the 57,000 Arizonans who’ve lost their jobs since the Stimulus Bill--oops, Rescue Bill--was passed. “Folks,” Joe told the crowd with his trademark grin. “It’s working.”

Really?

And if you believe that, I’ve got some really cheap oceanfront property in Phoenix that I’d love to sell you.

Carnival Show Update: Following Joe Biden’s one-man traveling sideshow, ABC News reported that $39 million in Stimulus money, according to the White House’s Recovery.gov web site, went to districts in Arizona that don’t even exist. Which begs the question: Where did $39 million disappear? Naturally, the Obama administration blamed Arizona officials for faulty data and the Arizona officials blamed the Obama administration for faulty data gathering. And these are the people you’d trust with your health care? Alas, the Biden love-fest in Arizona was short-lived. Your tax dollars at work.

Commentarama Book Club

Got books? Then you'll want to check out the Commentarama Book Club, coming to a live blog near you in 2010. Drop by Commentarama today with your questions and comments. Hope to see you there!

Click here.

149. The Hugo Chavez Diet Plan

The President of Venezuela and wannabe Nutrisystem spokesperson, Hugo Chavez, has ordered Venezuelans to lose weight. In order to enforce national weight loss, the formerly chubby president has ordered the blockage of most food supplies going into the country. Anyone caught eating over 250 calories a day or an American hamburger will be shot. Two shots straight to the head if found with a biggie order of fries.

Beginning immediately, Chavez requires all Venezuelans to follow a daily regime of sit-ups and soymilk. Armed with bathroom scales and AK-47s, Chavez will make surprise visits to Venezuelan dinner tables to ensure that his new national diet plan is followed.

In another surprise announcement, Chavez also shared with reporters that he is partnering with Jane Fonda, Sean Penn, and the U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, to launch an intriguing line of exercise dance videos and spandex sports wear. The sports wear will be pirate-themed, each leotard coming with a parrot, beret, Che Guevera t-shirt, signed autograph from Hugo himself, and wooden leg for the pole-dancing routines. Background music for the exercise videos provided from Harry Belafonte’s latest CD entitled Music for Elevators found in most clearance bins at your local Wal-Marts; pole-dancing instruction, beginner and advanced, provided by Jane Fonda and Sean Penn rounded off with a Kathleen Sebelius demonstration on how to properly chew and swallow celery sticks and arugula from Michelle Obama’s vegetable garden. All this and more on every exercise video.

Proceeds from this joint venture will be deposited directly into the Hugo Chavez Non-Profit Trust Fund Switzerland account in small, unmarked bills. Look for the Hugo Chavez exercise videos and sportswear on QVC and the White House web site.